Mark E Smith & The Fall

ok so i used to run a music venue in manchester and one of my promoters was great mates with The Fall so we booked them… sold out (plus some) and all was great until Mark and his wife (the keyboardist) disappeared about 30 mins before they were due onstage.  We hunted the reasonably small venue for them to no avail and things were looking pretty desperate until i received a phone call from the pub next door asking if we were responsible for the dribbling mess that was Mr E Smith and his (not for legal reasons) coked up mrs.

i sent doormen to retrieve them and we were back on track.

then i started to hear rumours that he was refusing to go onstage and on investigation found him in the backstage room (on MY SOFA!) demanding a specific box of chocolates and an even more specific bottle of champagne.  This was the Bierkeller and we didn’t even stock cheap champagne or prosecco… i doubt there was even a bottle of fizzy wine to be had!  Besides it was about 11pm Friday night and just because I ran a venue didnt mean I had special powers to get anything at anytime.  

so he refused to go on… the baying mob of a crowd persuaded him to go on after half an hour or so but after 2 ‘songs’ he got fucked of and walked off.  obviously everyone blamed me and we never got the money back of the promoter (story of my life!) and so i think im allowed to call him a cunt and anything else i feel like.  

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